When I started this blog, I hemmed and hawed about what to name it. At the time, I was simply a mom whose main focus was her kids. However, that role? It baffled me.
Even though I chose it.
All through my growing up years, I never ONCE thought I would ever be married, let alone have children. (I never once dreamed about a wedding or any of those little-girl fantasy things.) So the role I found myself in felt a little like getting dropped into a foreign country. Without a translator, a map, or a guide.
I believe the words “young” and “stupid” fit well here.
Staying home with my kiddos couldn’t be more different from being a Professional Working Woman. As you may have read in my previous About Me (The Kitchen Sink portion) section, I felt lost. Directionless. Nothing was working out the way I had thought it would.
And let’s be honest: your expectations, and how they are met – or not – and your reaction to them, well… pretty much define your life, right?
And so back in October 2009, I decided “A Broken Compass” was a fitting blog title.
Enter: Perspective
Over the past year, I’ve become more comfortable with my stay-at-home role. (Notice I didn’t say I was any BETTER at it.) And I’ve grown to love blogging even more than I expected to. Which, combined with the adventure of motherhood a couple of other writing-related opportunities, give me a life full of interesting things I never would have known to seek out.
As I logged on to my website recently to make some change or another, I looked at my header, “A Broken Compass,” in that lovely Scriptina font. (Thank you again, Sumy Designs!) And I had a revelation.
If my compass weren’t broken, if I didn’t get a little lost, I wouldn’t be here.
Where I am.
…happily married to a man I never imagined was out there. [And just because his dirty balled-up socks on the floor drive me nutso, he’s no less my best friend and soulmate.]
… a writer, like I knew I was and would be from about sixth grade on, who publishes her writing for the world to see almost every single day. And sometimes even earns a few pennies for it!
…mother to three beautiful children, who daily teach me about myself, crack me up, and push my limits and boundaries in ways I wouldn’t have known possible. Even on the days when I feel like I my life is just too crazy, and my parenting, too unorthodox and ineffective… even on these days, I intellectually grasp completely the fact that I Am Supposed To Be Here.
Right. Here.
Long story short? I think my compass might be broken. Still.
And that’s perfectly fine with me.
{ 0 comments }
