Who knew that having a smart phone would make me feel so inept?
Before I get my tirade underway, let me remind you (lest you didn’t read yesterday’s post) that yesterday hubby and I got new phones: the HTC Touch Pro 2, the Cadillac of non-iPhones phones. The stuff that you can do on and with this device boggles one’s mind. For some reason, as I examine all its shininess and sleekness and twenty-first century beauty, I think of my maternal grandfather, who quit school in the sixth grade in ~1922 to help his father establish the first car dealership in his hometown (his job was to teach the guys who bought the cars how to drive them). And now, only four score and seven years later, I can text; email; surf; GPS locate/triangulate; compose documents, spreadsheets, and presentations; manage all my appointments, contacts, etc.; all on something that’s about six inches by two inches – well, that’s a re-definition of progress if ever one existed.
However. Learning how to do all these cool things, and work with a keyboard whose keys are barely the width of a pea, and a stylus that’s a fraction of the diameter and heft of a pencil, well, THAT brings to mind that adage about old dogs and new tricks. Not easy. But it’s so cool. And it’s so fascinating.
Did I mention it was really, really COOL??
So anyway, while I am learning the new language of HTC/Windows Mobile-speak, day-to-day life continues all around me (as hard as I try to ignore it so I can focus on learning this darn thing for more than three minutes at a time). Good news abounds, but alas, bad news accompanies it.
The Good.
- Amy is consistently going #1 on the potty. YAY AMY!
- Thanksgiving was very nice, and getting to see my little nephew ranks right up there with watching fireworks. Even though you know the basic principles of sky pyrotechnics and toddlers, they never cease to awe and entertain you.
- Amy’s b-day party was also very nice. I decided to be lazy and not cook, so other than making some guac as a small snack, I did no other food prep. Sam’s Club made the cake, and Rosati’s made the pizzas. Let me assure any of you who are planning/cooking/cleaning up after a huge Christmas feast: SAVE YOURSELF! It’s not about the food, so do something simple and reserve your energies for merry-making. My new-found wisdom: over-achieving isn’t worth it when it comes to entertaining. Really, it’s not. So I’ll wait a sec while you go rip up that 3-page grocery list and the 47-item food prep to-do list, because I’m confident you can find a way to make it EASY and yet still tasty. Maybe not order-out-pizza easy, but SIMPLE!
- Playdates are awesome. No matter where they’re held, kids are happier, therefore parents are happier. I’m the first one to advocate for family time, but in the name of peace and actually getting something done in the house already, SCHEDULE a playdate!
- I’m almost done with Christmas shopping, and I didn’t face Black Friday crowds to accomplish that.
The Bad.
Amy refuses to go #2 on the potty.
Incidentally, this reminds me of something that’s jumped to a prominent spot on my List of Unwavering Truths, the Parent Edition: did any of you mothers out there ever realize how much you’d be looking at the butt of your offspring?
Let’s take a step back here, so you can fully appreciate my point. Remember when the stick turned blue, and you were just gushing happiness, breathless at the mere thought of telling your hubby, envisioning pastel baby clothes and intimate infant snuggling and first toothless smiles and the like? Did you ever, even for a split second, think you’d be looking at the kid’s behind for so much of their first ~4 years??? Honestly, I should write to the authors of What to Expect When You’re Expecting and, in the name of honesty and full disclosure, have them write a special section on this. Someone needs to inform parents-to-be just how much bottom-viewing/cleaning there is. Of course, penning that section would probably lead to adding stuff about projectile vomit, the various consistencies of spit-up and how to interpret each, and how to not overreact when your baby takes a dump in the bath. Ummmm… that pretty, soft, embroidered yellow ducky washcloth and towel set? Not gonna stay that pretty shade of sunshine for long. Buy Dreft, and a lot of it, because you’re going to be looking at that soothing pink box more often than you’ll get to shower/sleep/chit-chat on the phone combined. Not as much as you’ll be viewing your offspring’s posterior, but frequently. Yes, about the only saving grace to how much baby butt you’re going to be seeing is scooping that magic white Dreft powder and tossing it in with the doody- and puke-stained duds, knowing that with modern chemistry (the detergent) and technology (your washer), you don’t have to touch your kid’s, ummmm, product after you fling said duds into the washer. Oh, and the antibacterial soap? Buy a super-big jug of it and keep it right next to the washer tub, because you’ll not want to leave the laundry area without first sudsing your hands very, very well.
But I digress.
I could go on and on about Amy and her elimination issues, but I’m sure you feel you’ve heard far too much already. One last glimpse into my little corner of the world: she has a stomach virus, and it’s not attacking the upper part of her digestive system. If you get my meaning.
Oh geez. She’s screaming in her room again, the poor little raw-tushy kid. So, I’m off to wipe more excrement off her little hiney and to further ponder the wisdom of Desitin vs. Paladin, and see if I can determine the exact right timing to put a layer of antibiotic cream under the diaper rash goo. I’m sure there’s another item for my special list of Unwavering Truths lurking in this madness somewhere. When I figure out what it is, I’ll be sure to use my handy but complicated new toy to record it.
Oh, and did I mention how cool that phone is??????
Ed. Note: In light of recent FTC regulations, please note that the new phones that hubby and I got were simply a special promo from US Cellular that everyone who shopped this past weekend were eligible to purchase. We only paid a penny each for them — thank you USC!!!!
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